Blog no. 268

As we inch closer to the new year, my heart is racing faster. The beginning of 2021 wasn’t great health-wise. I have never planned my life, but as I am aging with time, I feel the necessity of plans. We have a huge function coming up on Monday, and after that, I leave for my work location. I had sleepless nights with thoughts of life after the pandemic. I have loads of books biting the dust. I wanted to modify my lifestyle this year, but nothing changed much. I got fatter and fatter as we entered a new month. Currently, I have a mixed bag of emotions with my stressed mind and hundreds of things to be taken care of. I would catch soon with a book review and update from my family function.

All thanks to you!

I upload my articles on Facebook and forget about them. A few people would click the like button, and two of them might read it. Today, I opened my Facebook account with unexpected responses to the previous article published by Women’s Web (an online magazine run by women, curated by women). Most of the comments came from my classmates from kindergarten days and one of my school teachers. Kindergarten is a place where you are on your own, where you choose to trust kids of your age, where you learn to talk, where you start expressing. Through social media, we have connected our schoolmates, collegemates, and so on. We have seen classmates get married, seen them have kids, seen them turn into a diva, and what next. I am overwhelmed with all comments and flowing positivity. I have never been so happy watching my Facebook post. I have lost a lot of school friends with time, but the lost ones never made an effort to come back. The comments on my post made me realize that people do remember the laugh we shared. The post made me realize our teachers never forget us. The post made me feel stronger and empowered as a woman. I have faith in prayers, and I am glad someone might have prayed for me today. I want to hug each one of them today. Thank you for reading about a social issue, which we pledged to abolish during our school days. Yet, we are the victim of society. I want to stop writing here and post all comments made by my friends on Facebook.

Look for motivation around

In the previous blogs, I have mentioned my interests during the lockdown. I enjoyed watching daily vlogs from a few famous creators. I got introduced to the concept of vlogs during my stay in Bangalore. One of my friends is a biker, and he introduced me to YouTube vlogs. I remember during the weekend spent at their house, we watched vlogs followed by some movies. During the lockdown, these vlogs were a source of motivation or even distraction from bitter moments of my life.
I have stopped scrolling on Instagram as I got busy working and building a better career. Instagram is a place where you feel obligated to post happy bits of your life. I am sure many people follow various influencers on the platform. This pandemic showed us the importance of our mental well-being. The pandemic showed us the value of ourselves. Recently, I saw a vlog of one of the famous YouTube vloggers in India. Gaurav Taneja, whose an IITian, a commercial pilot, bodybuilder. Recently, he has also cleared a law examination. People trolled the family for losing money to the lawsuit against AirAsia and later buying a luxury car. At the receiving end, we always hear one side of the story. I want to believe a person who kick-off his job and yet had a family to look after. The family set a clear message out when his pilot wife went to work while Gaurav took care of the household. It takes guts to stand against the corrupt system. I loved the way he has turned into an idol for the youth of the country. Look for motivation around yourself. Someday, you will be proud of yourself!

Save yourself from Dhamaka

Last weekend, I watched the movie ‘Dhamaka’ released on Netflix. I wasn’t expecting much out of Kartik Aaryan. Bollywood has failed miserably in bringing engaging stories to the table. This movie was about a news anchor who was on the verge of divorce from his partner. The news anchor turned into a radio jockey since he stole news coverage from his wife. Does this plot sound applaud-worthy? This movie runs through an anonymous caller who threatens to bomb the Sea-Link in Mumbai. The arrogance of the news anchor, played by Kartik Aaryan, pushed the caller to cause a heinous crime. The movie kept going on for 2 hours with clueless suspense. The runtime of this movie could have been 1 hour easily. The script was weaker than anticipated. I thought I just wasted valuable time of mine watching that movie. Well, I couldn’t escape this movie, but I am sure you can.
Instead, you should watch the roast of Jonas Brothers airing on Netflix currently. After a hectic day, I deserve to laugh a lot and sleep peacefully. I think Netflix should start paying me for posting movie and series recommendations on my blog. Even though I don’t have a great follower count, I am sure people like to watch Netflix and take a few recommendations from a woman in her 30s.

Changing Friends Forever

When life throws unpredictable moments ahead, people always transform themselves. The transformation has been an evolving process, where you always try to be better equipped for every situation. Think hard on this statement, and you’ll know whether you transformed over the years. Now, I would draw an example from your work-life. During the appraisal, your manager recommends a few behavioral transformations. We accept a few changes to be a leader. This change might impact your career positively.
The way people treat you impacts your life. In my school life and college life, I have given importance to people. Today, those people hardly exist in my life. I like to count people who supported me during my worst days. I want to hold onto my friends who were supportive during my depression phase. Once upon a time, I was crashing at a friend’s place who happened to be my school friend. I remember I was ready to change my choice of subjects during graduation days to be with her. I had a return flight after a wedding, and I was in contact with her throughout the time. I crashed for four hours at the Delhi airport. Then, I took a substantial amount of time to return to her place in Noida. Winter days are cruel in North India. I sat for more than five hours in the lobby, where the chilled air broke my spine. She didn’t care to inform me about her arrival. I was starving, tired from the wedding functions, exhausted from the journey, and dying-off cold. Around 11:30 PM, I called my best friend and asked her to book a hotel for me. I know she would have a lot of questions in mind. But I told her I would justify this action soon. In no time, she booked me a hotel, which was shady. I didn’t care. All I cared about was sleep that day. I was hurt that day when she didn’t text me about my whereabouts. I wanted to believe that Delhi changed her. The next day I dropped my luggage at her place and left for the office. I didn’t want to have a conversation with her. I felt she was annoyed that I stayed at her flat for a few days. She didn’t have the guts to tell this on my face. Her sister conveyed to me in a sugar-coated way that I should look for another apartment. I wasn’t chilling either. I was constantly on the hunt since I wasn’t familiar with North India. I managed to book the flat as soon as my salary got credited to my account. I didn’t have enough funds after paying for the apartment. But my new flatmate was kind enough to share her blanket with me in the cruel winter of Delhi.
My choice of friends has been poor. I thought you make lifetime friends in school or college. But I would say, the phase of life doesn’t matter people who stay in your life to the end matter. I have friends who supported me when I earned the lowest and couldn’t afford to go to the movies. They never asked me to pay for the money; it was always on the splitwise app. It’s essential to keep your eyes and ears open to the people entering your life.

All Brides!

Whenever I attend a wedding from the bride’s side, my heart gets heavier. There are hundreds of rituals going around at the wedding. You can see a tense father who’s worried about every single thing happening around him. Today, we are privileged to afford event management services for weddings. The credit goes to the movie – Band Bajaa Baraat. The film introduced the budget event management concept in Indian weddings. Till today, the groom’s side holds prime importance during a wedding. I go by the saying – “Guests are next to god.” To please all the guests at the wedding, we have a parade at the wedding. Starting from the flowers to the caterers’ everything should be spick and span. In the meanwhile, people forget the emotional outbreak happening inside the bride’s heart. The emotional part of any wedding is the bride’s see-off after the wedding. Even though you don’t know the bride very well, your heart would still be heavy. Women face emotional outbreaks remembering the time when they got married. Women shed tears imagining their wedding day if it ever arrives in the future. Even if you know the bride would come back home the next day, still your heart will sob. God molded women to be soft-hearted.
I have witnessed a lot of weddings from the bride’s side, and it never gets easier. My father is the strongest, but he always escapes during the bride’s see-off ceremony. My mother always asks him, “What would he do during his own daughter’s wedding?”. Well, there is no escaping then. It is a strange ritual where no one can escape the truth bomb. For days, my head remains numb that one day I have to face the music. No one at the other house will bring my favorite biscuit. No one would know if I wanted to eat yogurt in a meal. People might have evolved and modernized, but your parents are irreplaceable. A bride will always find solace in her family. Her new family would be her new boat to sail through life and build new memories on the whole. Many married women in India are homeless at heart, as they aren’t welcomed as a part of the groom’s family. Most of the time, the reason being “She didn’t bring enough gold or dowry with her suitcases.” I wish all women who are getting married have a home to feel warm and cozy.

International Men’s Day

I would appreciate it if the groom knew the amount of dowry his parents asked for and stopped them from taking the dowry

I was writing a blog last week, but I couldn’t complete the blog with conflicting thoughts in my mind. I would continue to write another piece today, putting my past blog away for a while. I have missed writing blogs for the past few days. Winter season has begun, and I want to cuddle in my blanket. I get excited whenever Netflix screens a new movie-themed for Christmas and the Holiday season. In the past few days, I have had a few futile conversations at work. I realized despite the pure intentions, and people would still get mad at you. I try my best to leave my workplace vibes whenever I log out. However, some awful conversations linger around for a bit longer. People must normalize talking about healthy competition. I always believe your competition is with yourself. You have to fight every day to turn into your better version. I want to achieve realistic goals in my life rather than compare my problems with someone else. Well, that’s my thought from last week.
Today, let’s celebrate the presence of people in our lives who complement us. On the occasion of International Men’s Day, I would like to wish all of you. I never regretted being born a girl. I had the support of my strong father. I got confidence in my writing when my maternal grandfather appreciated my talent. I gained the confidence to overcome my problems as I knew my brothers held my back. I like to be vocal about everything happening around in life. Here’s a recent extract from an incident that occurred in July 2021. My brother, who lives in the United States, has been a role model in the family. I have another cousin brother who lives in Pune, India. But both of them were on call while I discussed the glitches in the paperwork for my home loan process. The next day when I went for my house registration process, I had confidence in myself. I was confident that I took the right step ahead. We are privileged to have brothers who will support us, scold us, and love us unconditionally. That was about my family. I have a few incredible friends who have been supporting and cheering for my successes. I would feel more respectful towards men if they could stand up for the wrong. I would appreciate it if the groom knew the amount of dowry his parents asked for and stopped them from taking the dowry. Some day, I want to raise a child in this world where they know how to respect the earnings of another family. I wish people knew respect is essential for everyone, elders or younger ones, poor or rich. Everyone in the world deserves respect. I believe you would step out and celebrate men who celebrated women’s day.

Gloom

There is no such thing as Normal

It has been raining since morning, adding a dull vibe to November. My day wasn’t productive as I had planned it to be. I baked the worst cake of my life today. Though I am glad, I watched the recent movie on Netflix – ‘Last Christmas.’ Emilia Clarke is the lead actress in this movie, who works in a Christmas-themed shop. I know the movie release was in 2019, but Netflix added it recently. The best part about this movie was holding emotions together. It has portrayed the comfort zone we find in strangers. It becomes easier to share your feelings with a stranger. At times, dating might be a task, but most of us share our dark secrets on our dates. You know that you might not meet that person again. But at times, random dates also give you a friend for a lifetime. A stranger might turn into a friend who won’t judge your choices in life. Emilia Clarke has stunned the world with her performances. I have seen a few of her romantic movies, which make me fall in love with her. ‘Last Christmas’ holds the spirit of Christmas, where Emilia sings for charity. Henry Golding plays Tom in this movie, who has a mysterious role. But you have to admit he is the most charming man in this movie. I mentioned earlier that I watch all the Christmas movies during these two wintry months. I heard the song ‘Last Christmas’ many times, but today it is stuck in my head. I am singing it even while writing this blog.

Unanswered

I have enjoyed my singlehood, where I make decisions for my palette. I have seen couples split between risotto and spaghetti. I love the way I have controlled my life. During this pandemic, I have realized the importance of a life partner. I am not desperate to get married to any random person. However, now I want to settle in life. I want to come home to a person rather than to my books. Last week, I watched the movie ‘Love Hard’ as discussed in my previous blog. While watching the movie, I realized I am that writer featuring in that movie. In today’s world, you will come across people devoid of emotions. Sometimes, we experience a lack of emotions from our friends. I want to be around people who make me forget my social media glamour for that moment. I cannot be at a dinner table where Instagram is far important than friends.
To kill boredom in life, you need a life partner. I am writing my anxious behavior through my words. I am frustrated with the amount of crappy attitude my parents have to bear every day. I wish in some part of the world someone reading this would relate to my feelings. I want to ask hundreds of questions about love if anyone wants to answer it. I fell in love and fell out of it. I punished myself for falling in love for uncountable years. Sometimes, I come across the social media posts of my ex-boyfriend. I don’t want to be with him, but I want to be somewhere he challenged me. I keep recalling the day I stumbled upon my ex, along with his wife. There was a time when I was possessive about him. I could see his wife possessive while I danced around with my friends. It took me a decade to forget my past and work on myself. But when I look at my singlehood, the words of my ex keep ringing in my ears. Trust me; those words weren’t a pleasant exchange between us. Sometimes I think I should have focused on grooming myself rather than building my career. In the current arranged marriage scenario, everyone looks upon you like trash. Anyone settling for an arranged marriage is the rejected clothing line at Sarojini. I have blurted out random thoughts popping into my mind today. Maybe the end of the tunnel would hold the light or would take down to the dark hole.

Gratitude post

I would like to keep this blog short. Today, we concluded with another festival in India. It holds great significance where people observed fast for a couple of days without drinking water. I have been observing this festival since childhood. I have close memories of my maternal grandmother performing at this festival every year. One fine year, she slipped off from stairs and broke her leg. I guess that was the year when we terribly missed going to the river banks. Ever since my grandmother passed away, my aunts observed this festival. I cannot express in mere words how important this festival is for me. It’s an emotion.

Also, my recent collaboration with the Mom Store (India) was published. Do check out the link and leave your comments.